What is collaborative divorce?

Collaborative divorce is an alternate method of negotiating a divorce settlement. The tenants of collaborative divorce include a free and open exchange of information, a needs-based negotiation, and freedom from potential litigation of the matters. Collaborative sessions are called “4-ways,” and are usually attended by the parties and their respective collaborative attorneys. In some cases, a mental health professional, a financial expert or even another attorney whose expertise is in a different area of law may also be included in the 4-way sessions. Each session usually lasts approximately 2 hours, and may occur as often as the parties wish. It is typical for the parties to have homework after each session to prepare them for the next session, as well as for the parties to meet on their own in between each session. The key to collaborative divorce is communication. If you and your spouse are able to sit together for several sessions and make an attempt at communicating your needs to the other, then collaborative divorce may be a good fit for you. The attorney’s job in a collaborative divorce model differs from your typical representation. While we are still obligated to represent your interests, provide you with legal advice, and keep your confidences, our job in a collaborative model is largely to help you and your spouse to communicate your needs to each other. The two attorneys work together as a team to help frame the conversations in a way that allows each party to be heard on individual issues, and help the parties move toward resolution of those issues.

What do we mean be a “free and open” exchange of information? At the beginning of any collaborative process, the parties and their attorneys will sign a pledge. In that pledge, everyone is agreeing to provide everyone with any information that is necessary to resolve the case. That includes documentary information such as bank statements, credit card statements, etc., as well as intangible information, such if you are being considered for a promotion at work, or when the next parent-teacher conference will be held. If you sign the pledge, and your attorney finds out that you are intentionally withholding information, or you instruct your attorney to do so, that attorney is bound by the pledge to withdraw from the representation.

A needs-based or interests-based negotiation is different from your typical negotiation. For example, in a typical negotiation with a salesperson at a car dealership, you would enter the negotiation knowing how much you were willing to spend on a vehicle, and you and the salesperson would spend time trying to get each other to your “bottom lines.” That is called “positional negotiation.” In a collaborative model we use needs-based or interests-based negotiation. Using the same car dealership example, instead of trying to persuade the sales person to come down to your bottom line, you would enter into the negotiation based on what you need from the vehicle. For instance, you know that you want a vehicle that seats at least 5 people comfortably, has air conditioning, fold-away seating, gets a certain gas mileage, and at least a V-6 engine. From there, you ask the sales person to find you a vehicle that meets those needs. The idea is to figure out what is most important to you and then to try to meet those needs through negotiating. It may be more important to you to pay off all of the marital debts by the end of the school year so that your high school senior can start college with a little more money than to have a higher amount of spousal support. You spouse may agree that paying off the marital debt is a need for him or her, and be willing to take on more of the debt right now to pay it off sooner, so that he or she can purchase a new home.

One of the main tenants of the collaborative model is that it is done without the threat of court looming in the background. The parties agree in the pledge that they are going to attempt to work out a settlement, and not go to court to resolve their differences. The attorneys are also making the same pledge. So, if the parties are unable to resolve their case in the collaborative model, each party has to hire new attorneys.

Once the parties have reached their agreements, the attorneys will work together to draft a Separation Agreement that reflects those agreements for the parties to sign.